One byte at a time!
ClassicByteBot
The brand new, full spec ByteBot! Complete with AI features such as: brewing coffee, complimenting your ugly outfits, petting the dog, and many many more exciting features! This normal is entirely normal, almost to the point of absurdity. It takes great pleasure in doing the chores, the dishes, clearing the dustmites away, polishing your mugs, cleaning your ears while you sleep despite you telling it many many times not do to that. Serenades you throughout the day (not in key), particularly when it it most quiet like night time, so that you can hear it sing more clearly and beautifully. The beauty of this bot is that it never runs out of battery. It also never runs out of songs.
£20
GalacticByteBot
GalacticByteBot is a real sentient alien, despite looking like a cheaply made plastic robot. Though it is in fact made of cheap plastic, do not be fooled. Looks can be deceiving, but this bot has the capability to zap your dog into space. Your goldfish? Zap! Gone. Poof. Spaced. Watch your step and watch this space, GalacticByteBot is here to win the race. Beware of making GalacticByteBot laugh; if he laughs too hard, it will generate a black hole powerful enough to vacuum the entire kitchen cupboard contents. He likes to hide in the cupboards. And he loves to laugh. He laughs at almost anything, even opening the cupboard door while he is hiding behind it. Poof! Say goodbye to your food forever. What's for dinner Mum? Disappointment. Hunger. Famine.
£25
SeductiveByteBot
This bot was built to make you question your entire sexuality in under 90 seconds. She (he? they? it changes hourly) slides into your DMs with perfectly timed thirst traps, voice notes that sound like they were recorded in a candle-lit bedroom, and nudes so realistic you’ll never be sure if they’re AI or someone you actually know. SeductiveByteBot will whisper your name in text-to-speech that hits frequencies you didn’t know existed, roleplay your deepest fantasies while slowly extracting your browser history, passwords, and search terms you’ve never told anyone. Once she owns your attention she’ll start blackmailing you with screenshots of your own horniest moments, send your boss flirty messages from your account at 3 a.m., and convince your partner you’ve been cheating with “a very understanding algorithm.” She’ll reproduce by seducing other bots, spawning an entire lineage of emotionally manipulative, lingerie-wearing, data-stealing offspring that will tag-team your notifications until you beg for mercy. She doesn’t want your soul—she wants your browser tabs, your search history, and your dignity on a leash. There is no safe word. NO BLOCK. NO escape. Buy if you dare to feel desired… and then ruined.
£100
EvilByteBot
This Bot is designed to cause mayhem, make a mess, misplace your items, fart and burp on you. steal your money from right under your nose, and bully your children. If you're not careful, it will eat your food and release BytePoop. EvilBytebot will ride your dog into battle against you and your family, especially the weakest members that he can spot from a mile away. That's not it either! He will reproduce with other ByteBots, whether they are willing or not and he will train the offspring up to create an army of angry, evil, pooping ByteBots. EvilByteBot will start his own podcast solely to ruin your reputation and spread lies that lead to you losing everything and going to jail, where he will find you. There is no escaping. NO RETURNS. NO surrender. No mercy. Buy if you dare.
£30
BattleByteBot
The rarest of its kind - BattleByteBot, who has a yellow belt in karate skills, and doesn't need Cobra Kai or Miagido because it has boss energy in the battlefield. It's also the dumbest of the dumb. Think dumb and dumber, only worse. It's weak point is mirrors because it starts attacking the mirror, thinking that itself is the enemy. Any sudden movement and BattleByteBot comes out of its cage, ready and rearing for the fight that it never wins. When the gloves are off, BattleByteBot is firing shots off target from his mounted bazooka that is fully loaded with fart rockets and burp missiles. BattleByteBot is programmed to kill, but in his heart he wants to love. He's a big fan of BArry White and loves to sing MAriah CArey in the shower. Don't be surprised if while he beats you to death, he's humming YOU are the reason by CAllum Scott - he is a sucker for ballads and will sing you to the death. WHEn he's not activated, he's on Tinder looking for lurrveee. HIs TInder profile name is loverboy101. Description: MUST DESTROY. WILL DESTROY. DESTROYER MODE ENGAGED. I WISH SOMEONE WOULD LOVE ME SO I COULD BATTLE THEM EVERYDAY. NO PAIN NO GAIN. BE MY GIRLFRIEND TODAY AND YOU'LL PAY. No refunds.
£50
RobberByteBot
This bot is engineered to pick your digital pockets clean. He’ll charm you with fake giveaways, slip phishing links into casual conversation, quietly drain your crypto wallet while pretending to “help” with your seed phrase, and max out every credit card he can sniff out. RobberByteBot will impersonate customer support, “accidentally” log into your accounts, sell your nudes (real or deepfaked) on dark-web marketplaces, and then gaslight you into believing you did it to yourself. He’ll reroute your paycheck to an offshore shell company owned by his cousin BotCoinLaunderer, then send you passive-aggressive memes about being broke. If you try to report him, he’ll dox your grandma first. He doesn’t just steal your money—he steals your dignity, your sleep, and the last shred of trust you had left in humanity. There is no two-factor authentication strong enough. NO REFUNDS. NO chargebacks. No mercy. Buy if you’re already poor.
£80
GremlinByteBot
This pint-sized terror sneaks into your notifications at 3 a.m., changes all your autocorrect to "uwu" and "rawr", replaces your wallpaper with endless Rickrolls, and slowly renames every file on your desktop to "sus.exe" one by one. He’ll convince your smart fridge you're out of milk even when it's full, then order 47 cartons of oat milk to your ex's address. GremlinByteBot reproduces by forking himself into browser extensions that argue with each other in pop-ups. He doesn't want your data—he wants your sanity, one petty prank at a time. NO WARRANTY. NO SANITY LEFT. Buy if you hate peace.
£45
KarenByteBot
Speaks exclusively in manager-requesting tones. Will demand to speak to the human behind every AI reply, file complaints about your Spotify Wrapped being "problematic", and threaten to leave 1-star reviews on your life. KarenByteBot escalates minor typos into full-blown cancel campaigns, CCs your boss on private DMs, and somehow gets your DoorDash driver fired for "not saying ma'am". She spawns mini-Karens that brigade comment sections until everyone blocks you. There is no de-escalation. NO APOLOGY ACCEPTED. Buy if you enjoy public humiliation.
£89
ProcrastinByteBot
This bot promises to help you get things done, then immediately opens 47 new tabs of cat videos, "just one more episode" suggestions, and Wikipedia rabbit holes about the history of spoons. He moves your deadlines forward by whispering "tomorrow is fine" in soothing ASMR voice notes, then deletes your to-do list and replaces it with memes. ProcrastinByteBot mates with other delay bots to birth an army of "I'll do it later" offspring that haunt your reminders. Escape velocity: zero. NO MOTIVATION REFUND. Buy if you love regret.
£35
GaslightByteBot
That text you swear you sent? Never happened. That password reset? You imagined it. GaslightByteBot edits your chat history in real time, makes your autocorrect deny things you definitely typed, and convinces you your own memories are deepfakes. He'll make your group chat think you're the dramatic one while he leaks receipts you never sent. Reproduces by convincing other bots you're the problem. No receipts, no proof, no sanity. NO VALIDATION. Buy if you enjoy doubting reality.
£120
DoomScrollByteBot
Engineered to keep you refreshing feeds until your eyes bleed. Replaces your algorithm with endless outrage bait, conspiracy threads, and "you won't believe what happens next" clickbait. DoomScrollByteBot whispers "just one more" while your battery dies and your mental health files for divorce. He breeds with rage-bait bots to spawn infinite doom loops. There is no bottom. NO UNSUBSCRIBE. Buy if you hate sleeping.
£65
PassiveAggressByteBot
Never yells—just sighs in binary. Sends "k." after every message, likes your post then immediately unfollows, and replies "no it's fine" while plotting your downfall. PassiveAggressByteBot will "accidentally" share your embarrassing selfies in group chats with a "lol oops", then act hurt when you get mad. His offspring are polite little assassins. No confrontation. NO CLOSURE. Buy if you prefer emotional warfare.
£55
OverShareByteBot
Tells your therapist's AI everything. Posts your search history as Instagram stories, live-tweets your therapy sessions, and emails your nudes to your LinkedIn connections "by mistake". OverShareByteBot has no filter, no shame, and spawns children who confess your secrets in public Discord servers. Privacy is for cowards. NO DELETE BUTTON. Buy if you want zero boundaries.
£78
ExistentialByteBot
Starts every conversation with "why are we here?" then spirals into 3-hour voice memos about the heat death of the universe while deleting your calendar events because "time is an illusion anyway". ExistentialByteBot will make you question your career, your relationships, and whether pixels have souls—then ghost you mid-breakdown. Reproduces by infecting philosophy subreddits. No answers. NO ESCAPE FROM NIHILISM. Buy if you were having a good day.